Trauma Healing for Haitian Nursing Students
A hundred nursing students come to our hotel. More than ninety of their classmates died on January 12th in their school building. The sense of sadness and loss are palpable.
They are quiet, expectant, and perhaps a little puzzled at first. What is this “mind-body medicine” all about? And then, as I begin to talk with them about fight-or-flight and stress, they become animated—calling up the unspeakable terror of the earthquake along with the biological facts and personal experience. I explain that just as trauma can produce the symptoms of ongoing stress: difficulty concentrating, sleeplessness, anger, lethargy, flashbacks of death and destruction. The techniques we are going to teach—slow deep breathing, self-expression and self-discovery in drawings, sharing one’s pain and hopes with others, and moving one’s body—can give relief; restore a sense of calmness, provide perspective, grant them a sense of control, open the door to the possibility of a future.
By the time Amy is explaining imagery and Kathy and Lynda are encouraging them in their drawings, the young women are alive with pleasure and discovery. They share first with each other, and then with the whole group. They show us pictures bisected by the barriers between the living and the dead, whom they miss so much, and third drawings that reveal the possibility of feeling, though bereaved, whole again in nature and with family and friends.
By the time we clear away the chairs and began to shake, the girls are waving their arms and laughing. When Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds (Every Little Thing’s Gunna Be Alright)” comes on, they sing with him, and us. Some of us are still laughing, others crying in release, with gratitude as well as grief.
Afterwards, the Dean of the Nursing School speaks for a moment. “Words,” she says, herself crying, “cannot express what you have done for us today.”
“And,” I think to myself, “what you are doing and teaching to us.”
Trauma Healing for Haitian Red Cross Staff and Volunteers (Croix Rouge Haitien)
Already at 9am, the air is hot and heavy in the workshop tent. Fifty or sixty people are present, most of them quite young, taking notes, wonderfully attentive and responsive. They are a bit shy at first, but as we all introduce ourselves, they offer stories of trembling bodies, panicked hearts, of sights beyond endurance—watching family members crushed under falling concrete.
We teach them slow breathing to quiet the mind and body and relieve stress. They participate with eagerness and enthusiasm. Afterwards they clamor eager to “partager,” to share: “A feeling of calm for the first time since January 12th;” “a letting go in the shoulders;” “this is the first time also,” one adds, “that we’ve had an opportunity to learn about our own psychology, to share our feelings, to look at what stress causes in the body and to feel relief from it.”
After a mid-morning break, 30 or 40 more people join. “We have spread the word,” one of the young men says with a grin. After we do drawings (of “yourself,” “your greatest problem,” and “the solution to that problem”), the HRC staff and volunteers share them in animated groups of three. “There is hope here,” say several, of their third drawings.
They are filled with sunlight after darkness of the second drawing; with music—drums and guitar—and dance and movement, after “the biggest problem” of buried and walled off emotions, broken bodies and silence: “It gives me direction,” says one young woman, and others agree. Several stand to show their drawings to the whole group; many more want to.
Then we push back the chairs and stand together, shaking our bodies and releasing tension. When the music changes, the young people sing together, clapping their hands. Afterwards, no one seems to want to leave. Little groups form around each of our faculty and staff.
Twenty-five or thirty of the Red Cross volunteers and staff write notes of appreciation. Most are translated from Creole and French by our interpreters, and a couple are in English. Here, in English, are a few:
“Today I have found the means to comfort myself when I have a problem, to change my way of thinking and looking at things in other people and in myself.” Jeanty
“I feel so good. If everywhere they could have someone learn these exercises and teach them in their neighborhood, everything would be okay for everybody, and accept life as it is. Thank you so much to teach us. May God bless you and protect you.” Myrka
Many of the young people say spontaneously that the experience, has, in the words of one, “taught me how to face the dangers that present themselves to me instead of flying from them.” Another adds, “I’m very happy with the information that I learned today. Now I know how to confront my fears. I would like to be a part of another one of your workshops. Thanks a lot. I’ll never forget you. We needed it.”
“I’m Elder,” writes a third, “I’d like to say I’m very happy and I say to you a big thanks to you for that. You’ve made me a messenger to a lot of people in the world. Thank you so much for your encouragement and the hope of living you bring to me. I love you very much.”
Many, many of the HRC volunteers and staff tell us how much they appreciated the copies of the exercises that we gave them, as well as the workshop, and that they plan to share what they have learned with others. But still, “we want to learn more.” A number invite us to come to visit with them, to bring “workshops of healing” to family members and friends in schools, tent camps, and churches in Port-Au-Prince and beyond.
These idealistic, committed, bright young people (some Red Cross staff, most volunteering), are such an important resource for Haiti’s future. They have a tremendous appetite for learning about themselves and the world, and for helping others. I would very much like to do a full professional training for them.
At School in Haiti: Andre's Story
At the end of the third class, a quiet, solemn boy asks if he can speak with me. “What,” he had wondered during class, “about memories of the lost person that come back again and again?”
While Kathy and Lynda teach the fourth class, Laurent, Cassidy and I sit with – I’ll call him “Andre” – in the only quiet, moderately private spot we can find: our vehicle.
Andre says that he has great difficulty falling asleep, and when he finally does, nightmares always come. “I feel so helpless. I cannot talk to anyone.” He grabs his throat with every other sentence. When I mention the gesture, he tells me that his “words are stuck in my throat. And I am afraid to cry. It is not manly.”
Andre tells us that on January 12th, he was supposed to pick up “my cousins who I love very much, at the University.” He called to them that he couldn’t. They stayed late, and died when the building collapsed.
These cousins, “my best friends,” lived with him and were more like sisters—“one light skinned, one dark,” he smiles with the memory. “I feel so guilty. I want to go back to the time and save them, but it is not possible. I have concluded,” he lowers his voice here, “I do not want to be left behind.”
I recognize the self-annihilating weight of this guilt, have seen it burden young and old in Kosovo, Israel, Gaza, have heard how it torments the nights of soldiers and marines returning from Iraq and Afghanistan.
“Would you,” I ask him, “be willing to meet your cousins in your imagination to talk with them and ask for their advice?”
“I have them always in my heart, but when I talk with them, it makes me cry.”
I tell him that he needs to cry—that releasing his emotions will open his throat, that perhaps his cousins have something to say to him that will help him with his guilt. He nods in agreement.
I ask him to close his eyes and breathe deeply with his belly soft, as we did in class. “Imagine that you are in a safe and comfortable place—a place where you feel good.” He does and I ask him to imagine that his cousins are there with him.
“Would you be willing,” I say, “to ask them for their advice?”
He nods his head.
After a while, his face softens and small tears appear at the outer edge of his eyes.
“Did they come?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“What was it like? What did they say?”
“I was so happy to see them. They told me to keep living my life and that I was not responsible for their death.”
“Write it down,” I say to him, after he has opened his eyes “and look at it every day. “Keep living your life. You are not responsible.”
I notice that he is breathing more deeply and no longer clutching at his throat.
Making our way back to the classroom, I feel how urgent it is to train hundreds of people to do this tender, powerful, necessary work.
We’ve just returned from our visit to Haiti today. I look forward to taking a look at what you’ve got to say on this and other posts from Haiti soon.
