By June Hyjek
Let’s talk about the concept of “surrender.” Whenever I do events and signings for my recent book, Unexpected Grace: A Discover of Healing through Surrender, I inevitably get asked the question, “Who did you surrender to?”
The answer? No one. My concept of surrender doesn’t require that we give ourselves over to another person, party or even God. Surrendering isn’t about religion, giving in or resignation. We don’t have to surrender to anybody or anything to discover deep healing.
We just have to stop fighting.
Why flail against something you simply must deal with? When we stop struggling and wasting our energy on fighting whatever pains or stresses we’re facing, then we have enough energy to take action, make changes, and heal. We just have to get out of our own way.
Surrender requires an acceptance of our reality – without wallowing. Yes, we feel pain and stress. Acknowledge it. You can’t deal with something you don’t admit exists.
But surrender requires a decision to let go of the negative emotions of fear and anger that arise from feeling pain and stress. It allows us to take back our control, instead of engaging in a battle we don’t want and giving power to whatever it is we’re facing. We make our pain or anxiety into some terrifying, powerful enemy that we have to fight, and we feed its power by struggling against it. By surrendering, we are choosing not to be a victim forced to battle the challenges life brings us. By letting go of the negative emotions, we are choosing to take positive actions to care for ourselves. When we stop fighting, we win.
Surrendering isn’t giving in or giving up. It’s making a choice to let go of the emotions of struggle, fear and anger. It’s making a choice to trust in ourselves and others that we have what we need to move through whatever comes our way – good or bad – with peace, confidence and grace.